all clear

That was all a bit of a headfuck, but we seem to have survived.

The kids all made the decision individually they would stay at home, although I don’t think small girl ever came out of her room. B regarded his birthday card and money with appropriate disdain. I am intrigued to hear what he plans to do with it. I have in the past donated my parents’ gifts to charities I feel would particularly annoy them, but he may be too young to appreciate the elegance of that concept…

Big girl marched in arms folded, glaring under her eyebrow, all ready to pick a fight (dunno where she gets that from, eh?) She’s been more affected by this than the other two, because she was more aware of what happened. But she’s also more able to process it, and actually seems to be doing remarkably OK. She talks about it from time to time, and asks big thinky questions, and I make sure she gets time with me away from the other two so she gets those opportunities. She likes the idea of justice.  If she grows up to blame me for everything, hey, I did try.

There was no apology from my mother (natch) but she has apparently made a statement to the police confirming what happened. She also says my father will plead guilty. I’m slightly blown away by that, but trying not to get excited until I hear it from an independent source. I got the impression there’s a court date soon, but I could be wrong.

Now I am not thinking about any of this any more.

Here, have a calming knitting picture instead:

The shawl I started at the weekend with new sparkly wool from Woolfest. Il est vraiment tres beau, n’est-ce pas?
I just made and ate a million calories worth of spaghetti carbonara. I would worry if it wasn’t blatantly obvious that I burnt off at least twice that in nervous energy this afternoon.

This evening is about Pack Holiday paperwork. I’m getting there. Must remember to add SLEEP to the to-do list. There has not been enough of that in my life recently.

Tomorrow T and I are going for a good long walk with our striking children. I don’t know where, but it will be a very good day, because I have said so. We are also planning an even longer walk. I am particularly excited about this. Watch this space.



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15 responses to “all clear

  1. dawn

    So glad that it went that well – and I’m still happy to go through paperwork for you.
    Tomorrow sound like it should be lovely – hope you have a gorgeous day and can thoroughly enjoy it.

  2. Heather

    Glad it is over. Also that it looks like you will be spared court.

    Have a wonderful walk.

  3. Glad you all survived and it’s over.

    Walking tomorrow sounds like a wonderful idea and am intrigued by your last three sentences.

    The knitting is stunning – it promised to at the weekend and does. And I am loving ‘The Attenbury Emeralds’ – thank you.

  4. Blimey Nicola, I know you’re not thinking about it any more but how bloody awful! I’m glad you survived but still think (as I did when I asked you years ago why you let them come around) that they don’t deserve to step foot inside your door -either of them. And call me unenlightened if you like, but I would put almost equal blame upon your mother as your father – she had the choice to protect you and she did not. Judgemental, moi? Well probably. Sometimes I get sick of all the turn the other cheek stuff. Sometimes we need to tell people what we think of the way they have behaved. (You could write her a letter too, even if you never send it.) I can’t even imagine how big girl feels – I know my big boy thinks big things too – but am proud of her attitude!
    By the way your shawl looks delicious. I can imagine you as the girl in the Rumpelstiltskin story, sitting in a room full of wool and overnight transforming it into treasures!

    • Oh, trust me, I blame her too. But realistically, she’s no physical danger to any of us.

      “…she had the choice to protect you and she did not…”

      This is what gets to me. I am every bit as angry, possibly even more angry in some ways with her. Too angry to write that letter at the moment, but maybe one day. Anger is exhausting, knitting is the way forwards.

      As a mother, I can’t get my head round choosing not to protect your children, choosing instead to cover up, to deceive, to perpetuate the abuse. And I guess ‘mother’ in that sentence really should be exchangeable with ‘parent’, but in my head I’m not sure it is. Which is an attitude I would examine if only I had the energy, because as a staunch feminist, I can’t justify it…

      • I don’t think feminism has anything to do with it Nicola, it’s pure biology. We have a different set of hormones and a different make-up. Not worse or better but different. And I too feel it’s worse when a mother falls down in what seems her most basic duty (not to say instinct for most of us). What annoys me is that the law would almost certainly regard her as a victim, rather than someone who had a choice and throw the book at her too. I recognise that she is no physical danger to you, but she is to your serenity. Every time she invades your space you are forced to suppress that anger again because it’s too big to deal with now. Why should she have the right to do that? Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary.
        (Sorry, I know it’s easy for me to sit here and think these things without being you and without having to deal with it myself. It’s just that I’m incensed for you and would like to give the woman a big slap and tell her to stay right away from you – and I don’t even know her.)
        Lots of virtual hugs – and if you ever need to escape to the seaside we are here!

  5. Vikki

    I’m glad you’ve all survived – your kids are great and they’re a real credit to you, and I love the way that big girl especially was obviously so ready to fight your corner for you.

    Also glad to hear that he’s going to plead guilty and you won’t have to deal with court *touch wood*

    And finally, BEAUTIFUL shawl!

  6. I’m glad you’ve come through without further upset – and I hope B has some suitable plans for the birthday cheque. Maybe there’s something he’d enjoy that they would be horrified to have it spent on – e.g. go-karting?

    I hope what she said is confirmed. And now – pretty *pretty* knitting.


  7. *Hugs*. And that is a beautiful shawl, and doubtless knitting it is excellent therapy. Aren’t kids wonderful?

  8. Catriona

    Thanks for letting us know how things went – thinking of you lots.xx

  9. Kathye

    Am glad you all survived, I hope there is a guilty plea, have been thinking of you all afternoon

    Virtual gin and hugs xx

  10. Katherine

    Well, all things considered, it’s not a bad result. But, yeah. *big sigh*
    And I love the textures in that knitting.

  11. Kathryn

    Have a lovely walk tomorrow x

  12. Sugar

    Glad everything went OK. Was good to chat to you briefly the other night. Pretty knitting 🙂

  13. *hugs* Everyone else has articulated way better than I can.

    *love* the knitting.

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