I have been in an utterly vile mood all day. Composition roughly: one part exhaustion, one part self-pity, one part sad-and-lonely, plus about ninety seven parts of anger and frustration. Me and my evil tongue have been lashing out like a hurt animal, which is hard on my poor children as the ones in earshot.
Because right now, it all hurts, and I can’t find a solution that doesn’t hurt one of us still more, so it’s easier to just hide under the duvet, blaming myself.
I’d had vague plans to go to the theatre, with friends who would have cheered me up, but life suddenly felt so complicated I’d failed to actually commit and get tickets. And then it rained and rained and rained, and finding anything spontaneous to do was overwhelmingly beyond me, so there we all were, stuck in the weather house together.
Tonight we are off to see Harry Potter (where have the last twelve years gone? I remember discovering the books when we were living in Aldershot, and Big Girl was a baby, and since then there’s been a book or a film each year.) Luckily all the maternal input that’s required of me is driving and popcorn buying, as I fear I am very bad company indeed.
Whatever tomorrow brings, I think I’d better get myself out of here for a while.