Today I am wearing a dress. The dress is orange. These are both very strange and wondrous things in my world. There is no reason at all for this, except that I Felt Like It, which is a justification I love. (Also, it goes swish!)

(Badly lit photo. It is warm, but gloomy dark here.)

I had a bit of a wardrobe clearout, and finally rid myself of a whole heap of ill-fitting clothes. In fact, ill-fitting doesn’t do them justice, they were just unfitting. Why was I hanging onto trousers which fall straight down off my hips? Yes, I have no self-control and can gain pounds overnight simply through inhaling cake, but really, a wardrobe full of clothes two sizes too big Will Not Help with this situation.

I panic in changing rooms. I can compute ‘item too small, therefore you need to get bigger size’, but if I try something on in a size I think should fit me and it’s too big, I just decide I am deluded, and it can’t be, and buy it anyway. This is plainly ridiculous, and I need to ignore numbers and labels. I found at least three new items bought this summer, which are quite simply (at least) a size too big. I’m a little afraid I’ll have to become one of those women who takes their honest friend shopping to tell her what she looks like.

Notes to self:

-never buy M & S trousers, however good the colour, fabric, price, there is always something peculiar about the cut which will reveal itself the first day you wear them
-linen trousers will stretch more than you believe is possible
-cunning use of biascut fabric may almost give the illusion of a waist
-at 37, it is probably too late to keep hoping the bosom fairy will visit, which means there are some tops you are never going to be able to do justice to

Now I have but one problem: I really want to go shopping, and buy new swirly things to wear…



Filed under sartorial advice

8 responses to “biased

  1. dawn

    A wardrobe sort out can be so liberating! I need to go through my teeshirts again and be ruthless and get rid of the ones that are way too baggy and the ones that have shrunk or have just been loved to destruction point and stick them in the “one day I’ll make a rag rug bag”
    I don’t suggest taking a teenager shopping with you
    a) they’re too ruthless
    b) mine at least just raise their eyebrows at everything I chose and go “oh mum” in a resigned tone
    however yours may be much better!

  2. Rosie

    I have to take someone clothes shopping with me because I cannot be trusted to get bored and go buy books instead…

  3. Stella

    Buying the right size is the only thing I can do. I’m that sad woman who takes three different sizes in – ‘no way is my ass going to fit in there, but just on the off chance”, ‘I think it’s probably the right one’, and ‘save the bother of having to get dressed again to get the next size’. Other than that I’m bloody useless at clothes shopping.

    PS Add to your list, if jeans are comfy when you first put them on then they will be ‘one size too big’ within the hour.

    • I discovered that the rule for jeans also applies to cotton trousers recently, they fit perfectly in the shop, but one days worth of wear and they now want to fall down 😦

  4. I’m impressed that you own such a flattering and feminine garment! No such thing in my wardrobe.

  5. Pretty dress, I need to stop wearing my maternity because it is comfortable and baggy and maybe find some clothes that fit, but I hate clothes shopping, I took Liss with me last time, she was ruthless

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