caged

I’ve gone quiet.  I ran out of things to say, because I hadn’t been anywhere or done anything, and it hurt.  Things are slowly improving.
 

 
After several sickeningly unpleasant sneeze-clunk-click moments on Thursday and Friday, the ribs were definitely doing better.  Nothing popped or grated or shifted around when it shouldn’t for a good 36 hours.  I stopped being Grumpy Mother, and began to take an interest in life again. The ribs stood up to a taxing day of crochet, chips and cake yesterday, so when I woke up to bright sunshine  this morning, I thought it was time for an outing.
 

 
I caught a bus to Disley, and walked slowly and carefully around Lyme Park.   The world smelled of bonfires and fallen leaves. It was less wild than I’d have liked, but at least I was out in the fresh air.  That first mile or so was bliss; by the second, I was uncomfortable, and realising I wasn’t mended yet; the rest of the outing was rather tortuous and I would probably prefer to forget it, but I was too proud to beg a lift back.
 

 
I’ve realised quite how much of my self-image is bound up in believing I can throw a map and lunch into a rucksack, and head out of the door for the day to walk as far and as fast as I like (I keep remembering that long walk up the Northumberland coast…) And it’s scaring me that right now, I’m not able to do that…
 

 
I’m sitting very still now, doing a little quiet crochet, and hoping I haven’t made things too much worse, as I’m quite determined to go to work tomorrow.

 

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “caged

  1. Ah…. the calling of wild! Soooo very wonderful to find yet another soul who needs replenishment and refreshment from deep countryside on a regular basis! I am thrilled that your ribs are healing, Nicola, and that you are now in less pain so therefore free to explore and wander once again. Long may it continue!!!
    Hugs Jo xxx

  2. Alison H

    If you’d been there last week instead, I could’ve given you a lift home!

    Hope the ribs finish healing up soon.

  3. dawn

    I was driving this afternoon and just desperately wanted to head out into the country and walk so I know where you’re coming from. But even if you can’t just stomp off at the moment, you are still YOU and we still love you and respect you and I’m certainly in awe of your craft and cooking skills.

    And I’m so glad that they seem to be finally on the mend – and sometimes doing something that you know you shouldn’t do health wise, but have to do is an essential for you sanity and however much you get payback time afterwards just remember that first part of the walk and how good it felt. And feel free to whinge at me about payback time as I do it to you so many times.

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