crushed

I haven’t blogged anything in forever.  I must’ve started half a dozen different posts, but the words won’t flow, and the pictures are frustratingly bad.

 

My head’s echoing with my parents oft-voiced opinions that I give up on everything, can’t do anything right, that I’ll never achieve anything.

 

In fact, I seem to have reverted to my teenage self.  I’ve been hitting replay on the same song for the last hour.  Anything to try to drown out those negative voices…

 

Also, I can feel myself falling.  Truly, madly, deeply, hopelessly…  I’m not ready to talk about this one, but I can’t think about anything else.

 

 

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17 Comments

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17 responses to “crushed

  1. *Hugs*. What your parents said isn’t true. You have chosen to be someone different. Go and stand in front of your mirror and say it out loud. And take Night Rescue or something to help the voices stop.

    You are a valuable and worthwhile human being who is very much loved. And go and say that to yourself in the mirror, three times a day until you believe it because it’s true!

  2. It is good to hear from you, and I echo Annabel that your parents’ words are not true and you have indeed chosen to be someone else. *hugs tight*

    Someone who does achieve; someone who does finish things she starts (look at all that KNITTING *is in total awe*); someone who is making a huge difference in the lives of small children at school every day; someone we all admire, look up to and love.

    • hannah

      At the risk of seeming lazy, I certainly agree with what Helen says. Add to it: inspiring blog posts, beautiful photographs and an amazing friend x

  3. Heather

    Hugs. Sometimes it is so hard to turn off that nasty little voice inside ones own head. It is usually the worst and most unkind critic. I try to remember what someone once said to me “Would you tolerate anyone saying the thinsg you are thinking about yourself about anyone else and the answer is almost always no.” Easy to say less easy to put in practice but sometimes it helps.

  4. I value and respect you. I trust you.
    Whatever your parents may say, I see someone to be admired in you; someone who achieves, someone who is important.

    I’m also very much looking forward to seeing you soon.

  5. Jane

    *hugs*

    Every time you keep going, you prove them wrong.

    You’re awesome. You have three great kids, you inspire teeny small people, and you inspire the teenage ones (Guides is the hardest thing in the world to run), and you inspire the more grown up ones.

    It’s just much harder to believe that some days than others. But it’s true.

    • I love my Guides.

      Last night we updated our unit Guidelines, and they now include references to ice and lemon in the G&T. I think we may have to create a publically acceptable version for when Normal People visit…

  6. dawn

    Everyone else has spoken wise words which I echo totally – you are a fabulous person who has influenced many people young and old and for good (well apart from it’s all your fault I now like gin….. and the odd expensive knitting habit due to you too… ). You are an awesome friend, a fabulous mum, an inspirational person who I look up to and admire totally.

    And I know that nasty voice that is their legacy is saying “no” and “but”, but that is them and their nastiness not what people say who truly respect and admire you.

    Please please please let us know what we can do to help – I’m crap at knowing/doing the right thing without major pointers, but I want to help and be there for you. holding you tight and sending much love

  7. Liz

    You have done – oh so many things – right. You are awesome and amazing.
    Sending much love your way x

  8. Nell

    Love you lots, you are an awesome and wonderful person for all the above reasons even if it is difficult to believe it. Much love and hugs and hopefully see you very soon. xxx

  9. cara

    When or if ever you are ready to talk there are lots of us ready to listen at any time.
    You are worthy, you have a right to be happy, you are an example of how to survive, and there are lots of people who think you make a great difference to their lives.
    Whatever you need just let us know, look after yourself.
    Much love

  10. jo

    Oh love.
    Call me.

  11. Rosie

    You’re fab. You made it so I could go to Shetland. Have you any idea how much that means? A LOT. Plus you taught me to knit. Repeatedly. Love you lots. xxx

  12. katherine

    We knew it when we were 17, and its still true – our parents know f**k all about anything and aren’t worth listening to.

  13. katherinea

    I’m not sure your parents are people whose opinions you should be listening too.

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