I don’t seem to think in straight lines any more. Once upon a time, I could churn out a linear piece of academic writing without hesitation, deviation or repetition. Arguments, evidence, conclusion- put firmly in their places on sheets of A4. These days my thoughts branch off, and meander all over the place. Sometimes they still end up where I thought they were headed, but having taken a journey I never anticipated on the way; other times, the destination’s somewhere completely unexpected.
I don’t think it’s just a change of lifestyle, it’s a far deeper change of thinking style. I’ve become more visual; ideas which I’d once have chosen to express in words now find shape and form. My focus has changed from minutiae (academia was forever all about facts and detail) to grasping the sense of the pattern, the connections.
A letter I was trying to write the other night, spread out across the page in coloured inks, and suddenly developed accompanying pictures (an effect which was rather lost when I decided urgency was going to win out over visual effect and typed it into an email, mais n’importe pas…)
This blog which I thought was about words has become just as much about the images (haha, having said that, I don’t think this post has any image, although one may yet ambush me…)
I’ve almost given up reading fiction over the past year. After pretty much a lifetime of losing myself in a good story, I find it no longer works. I don’t know why this is, or if it connects with what I’ve said about a change in thinking style, but I miss it, horribly so if I’m having a bad day. The urge to escape to a safer place, to hide inside another world, is so strong it’s almost physical.
I’m almost sure there’s a second tangentially connected post, but I’ve been running on too little sleep this week, so it’ll have to wait for another day.