Imagine the scene. It’s December. I’m posting parcels…
Post Office man: I have to ask you, what is in the parcel?
Me: It is wool.
POM: I have to ask you, IS IT A BOMB?
Me: No, it is not a bomb, it is wool.
POM: But if it was A BOMB, you’d still say that, wouldn’t you?
Me: Um… I’m actually very truthful. I expect that would make me a really bad terrorist. Maybe if it was a knitted bomb… I’ve never knitted a bomb… (gets excited at the idea)
POM: You’d need a pattern though.
Me: My friend is knitting blood, you know…
POM (deciding to ignore mad knitting lady and reiterate his point): Because we can’t allow you to post anything dangerous.
Me: I wonder which of my friends would like to get a knitted bomb through the post?